A Study in Adolescent Frustration
by Classless
Summary: Julie and Dean realize a mutual attraction, but is it anything more than that? And can either of them work past their insecurities? Fluffy angst, rated mostly for language, some sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

Ch. 1 – A Little Less Talk

It all started with a case of mistaken identity. Or disguised identity, or whatever you want to call it, but it was most definitely a mistake. And now Dean Portman was lifting weights, shirtless, sweating and trying very very hard not to stare at his friend's ass while she jogged on the treadmill. They were the only two people in the gym because they both happened to like working out at night. It was a good stress reliever for Dean, and it made him tired. He was still having problems sleeping at Eden Hall; it was just so quiet at night here. And now, he couldn't help noticing how good Julie looked.

It was all Fulton's fault. If he hadn't wanted to go to the park to do some girl watching…

"We need to get laid."

Fulton just grunted and laid back against the grass. "We go to a school full of hot rich chicks. Why are we trying to pick up chicks here?"

"Those girls aren't our type.'

"Our type? Hot is pretty much my type."

"Fult, don't be like that. Help a brother out!"

Fulton rolled his eyes and sat up next to Dean. "Can I at least bum a smoke?"

Dean handed over his pack of Camels and his lighter and scanned the distance for any likely candidates. Fulton lit up for the first time since hockey season ended. They were enjoying the first really nice day of the scarce Minnesota Spring, and with only one month left in their junior year, everyone was ready to kick back and let Summer roll on in. Taking a slow drag, Fulton wondered if Dean would ever just chill out.

"What about those?" Fulton pointed at a couple of joggers at the bottom of the hill. "You like blondes, right?"

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Not bad, Reed. Could be a total dog, but she's got a nice body. Great rack..I'd say a large B."

Fulton squinted at the girls in the distance. "How can you tell what her bra size is if you can't even see her face?"

Giving his best friend a cheeky grin and tossing away the butt of his own cigarette, Dean answered simply, "Practice."

Fulton rolled his eyes and followed his friend down the hill to intersect with Miss B-cup and her brunette companion. Dean had shrugged off his leather jacket and was leaning against a tree waiting for the girls to come around a bend in the trail. Fulton chuckled to himself; he could always tell when Dean was about to go into performance mode.

The two girls came around the bend, breasts jiggling in sports bras, long bare legs striding, pony tails swishing.

"Hey Fulton," Connie said with a wave.

"Hi Portman," Julie called as they jogged past, continuing their workout.

Portman's jaw dropped. Fulton just howled with laughter.

"Dude, you totally almost hit on Julie!"

"Man, shut up." Dean kept staring down the trail. He shook his head and put his jacket back on. "Let's get out of here."

"Whatever you say, bro." Fulton dropped his cigarette and ground it into the grass.

As they strolled out of the park, Fulton could tell something was on Portman's mind. He kept silent, knowing Dean'd prefer to bring it up on his own terms. When they were almost back to the dorms, Dean finally spoke up.

"When did Julie turn into a girl?"

"Uh…she's always been a girl?" Fulton looked at his fellow enforcer rather confused.

"Yeah, I know, but, like, she's always been a Duck. Now she's a girl."

"She's still a Duck…" This was getting more and more confusing.

"Yeah, but, now she..she.." Portman grasped for words, "now she has boobs!"

Unable to hold back any longer, Fulton started laughing again. Dean glared at his best friend.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he sputtered taking some deep breaths. "So she has boobs. Lots of girls have boobs. Even Goldberg has boobs. What's the deal?"

"I know, but, like…Julie's hot. She didn't used to be…hot."

Fulton nodded. "Well," he grinned, "the good news is that we share the locker room with the girls. The bad news is that if you ever try anything, she'll take your head off. Both of them, probably."

Dean winced in agreement and let the matter drop. The rest of the afternoon they spent terrorizing the new JVs and whistling at cheerleaders.

She hated that Dean was a night person, too. She could almost feel his presence in the back of the gym. She could hear him working out, picture him sweating and shirtless. All she wanted was to finish her run in peace, but like clockwork, Dean'd show up at a mile and a half and she'd have to finish the rest completely distracted. Julie couldn't believe it when he'd shown up mid semester in their freshman year. He'd gotten taller, and from what she had seen of his little penalty strip show, harder. All the girls at Eden had wanted a piece of them, and well, Dean didn't disappoint many. He was such a damn player it went right to his head, and pissed her off. Just because he was hot and a good hockey player didn't mean he should go around kissing every girl that came his way. She was hot, wasn't she? She took good care of her body, ate right, worked out. And she was a good hockey player!

But then, that's probably why boys didn't flock to her, no matter how much she worked out. Ever since the school found out she'd almost broken Scooter's arm for trying to make her do so something she emphatically did not want to do, most guys had steered clear. Her friends, on the other hand, had threatened to go back and finish the job. That thought made her smile. The ducks were still together. The only thing that could make her senior year better than another national championship would be a national championship and someone to pick her up and kiss her senseless after the game.

Her pedometer beeped, breaking her out of her reverie. She immediately went into her cool down routine, and then grabbed her stuff to head to the showers. Walking back through the jungle of equipment, she caught sight of Dean, exactly how she had imagined him. He was working his shoulders, and she watched a little bead of sweat slide down his chest. That's when he made eye contact with her. Blushing furiously she power walked into the safety of the locker room.

Dean swore silently when she caught him staring at her, and thanked Jesus for the miracle that must have occurred to spare his life.

"Think about ducks, think about ducks, think about ducks," he chanted softly through the remainder of his reps.

The Ducks had perfected locker room etiquette within a few months of finding out there was only one attached to the rink. Connie and Julie got to shower, and everyone else had to take their sweaty asses home, because like hell were the two girls going to give up their privileges, and they were quite willing to fight for it. So the boys acquiesced and grumbled but they didn't really mind because they were, after all, boys, and not showering had never bothered them that much. Even Adam got used to it. So Julie wasn't surprised to hear Dean come into the locker room, muttering something, slam his locker, and leave again, all while she was taking a refreshing shower.

Taking a shower had helped to calm…whatever it was that made her all freaky earlier. She hated being a girl sometimes. Hockey, big games, those things were easy. But seeing Dean shirtless, somebody could've shot a puck at her head and she wouldn't have noticed. She wrapped a towel around her and headed to her lockers to get her clothes.

Dean burst through the doors and stopped in his tracks. The Cat Lady was wearing nothing but a towel, her hair wet and kind of wavy. Her eyes went wide at the sight of Dean, and she froze like a deer in the headlights. His mouth opened and closed a couple times before he managed to find his voice, albeit one a little cracklier than usual.

"I..uh..forgot..something."

Julie nodded not taking her eyes off him. Dean couldn't believe how hard it was for him to just breathe normally, let alone walk towards her. He finally got one foot to move, and it made Julie nearly jump out of her skin. Which made her flash a lot more thigh at him, which made him stop in his tracks again.

This time Julie spoke, her heart pounding in her ears. "I'm just..going…to go..over here.." She backed away slowly until she was on the other side of the row of lockers. Dean finally managed to stumble over to his locker, but he realized as he sat down on the bench, he'd completely forgotten what he had wanted.

"Shit," he swore to himself.

"What's wrong?" Julie called from the other bench.

Grimacing at being too loud for his own good, he called back, "Nothing."

He stood up and started rummaging in his locker, hoping to god to remember what it was. Unfortunately, all he could think about was Julie's long legs.

Slightly less panicked, Julie was getting bored. "If you're going to be much longer, could you throw me my clothes?"

"Uh…yeah, sure." He picked up her work out clothes and tossed them over the lockers.

"Gross, not those! They're all sweaty! I just took a shower, remember? I want to be clean and good smelling!"

Dean had to breathe deeply. He did not need to think about Julie in the shower, or how good she probably smelled, or the fact that she was very nearly naked in the same room as him. He was trying his best, but it was starting to have an apparent effect on him anyway. He just wanted to find whatever it was and get out.

"Dean?" she called again.

"What!" he snapped, instantly regretting it.

"Well, I was going to ask for my clothes, but forget it, I'll get them myself."

"Julie, I don't think…" But it was too late, Julie was already around the corner in all her be-toweled glory. She squatted down and began rifling through her gym bag. He couldn't help but watch. She was so graceful about everything, and she had such soft-looking skin…Dean took a step towards her without even realizing it.

When she heard the rustle of Dean's track pants, Julie looked up, and caught him with a very strange expression on his face. It made her blush to see him look at her like that, and she hated blushing. She wanted to look away, but it was too hard right then. Instead, she grabbed the first piece of clothing her hand hit and stood up slowly.

Dean felt something in him snap. Julie was looking at him in this maddeningly sweet, innocent, confused way, and still wearing nothing but a towel. And that was beginning to slip. There was only a few feet between his locker and hers but the distance was palpable to him. All he wanted to do was touch her soft skin, kiss her…

He moved too rapidly for it to be a dream, and he was right next to her, pressing her up against the lockers, breathing in her good, clean smell. Julie's eyes went wide as he crushed her between the cold metal of the lockers, and his own body. Her stomach had been doing flips since he walked into the gym, but now it leapt into her throat, made her whimper. And that was all he could take. Dean kissed her then, urgently, desperate for anything Julie.

She was surprised for the first few moments of the kiss, then hesitant, but Dean never took his mouth off hers, and she finally couldn't help but to kiss him back. His tongue slipped into her mouth, teasing her and tasting her. Dean's hands were in her hair, pulling a little, when Julie decided to nibble on his bottom lip. It made him groan, which made every muscle in Julie's body go tight. Firmly wedged between Dean and the lockers, Julie wrapped her legs around his waist. He untangled his hands and cupped her ass to give her more support. He was kissing her relentlessly, occasionally kissing her jaw or her neck or biting at her earlobe. He liked the neck reaction best so far, because it made her hiss and dig her nails into his back.

Her towel was starting to ride up as she unconsciously pushed herself closer and closer to him. Julie bit his neck sharply then, and as he inhaled his hands found soft naked flesh. He attacked her lips again, wanting more of her than he'd ever dreamed he could. She was squirming in his arms, grinding against him, driving him insane. A finger found the wet slit between her legs, and ran along its length.

Julie's blue eyes flew open. "Dean!" she gasped, her nerves on fire.

"Fuck, I'm sorry babe." He rested his forehead on the lockers behind them, his face pressed into her neck. His warm breath was still giving her goose bumps. She kept her arms wrapped around him, and rested her cheek on his head.

"I'm sorry, I just…"

"Dean…it's okay, really. But we can't…do this."

"I know. I don't know what came over me."

She nodded, his hair tickling her cheek. Slowly and awkwardly she lowered her legs to the floor. Dean sighed heavily in the uncomfortable silence that followed.

Pulling himself away from her, he couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye.

"I guess I'll see you at practice then," he mumbled.

"Yeah, I guess."

Trying hard to disguise the rather obvious problem in his pants, Dean turned and walked out of the locker room. As soon as the door closed, he slumped down to the floor.

"I'm such a fucking idiot."

Julie sat down on the bench, still wearing just her towel and touched her swollen lips.

"What did I just do?" she wondered aloud.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: I forgot to put a disclaimer on chapter 1, but I figured most of y'all are smart enough to realize that I do not own the Mighty Ducks nor ever have. Consider this story disclaimed.

Ch 2. – Now a Little Crush Turned Into a Like

A week later, Portman was about ready to kill himself. Well, figuratively. He laid his head on his desk in despair.

"Mr. Portman, can I see you after class?" his French teacher asked handing back his quiz. It was the third he'd failed in a row. Why did this damn preppy school require a foreign language? And why hadn't he taken Spanish with Fulton? Girls like French, he'd said, and then he'd signed up for Spanish. Little bitch.

Finally, the end of period bell rang and Dean dragged his ass up to the teacher's desk. Madame Leclarc eyed him over her thick glasses.

"Dean, we have got to do something about your grades."

"You're telling me." Orion had already threatened to bench him if he failed one more quiz.

"What can I do to help?"

He just shrugged. None of it made sense to him. "Give the tests in English?" Madame Leclarc just gave him that tight lipped stare that meant 'I mean business, so stop clowning around.'

"What if I got you a tutor?"

Dean made a face, but nodded slowly. "It's usually hard to find one that can fit with my schedule. I mean last year with geometry I went through three simply because of hockey practices."

The honors class had started filing in while they were still talking. Suddenly Madame Leclarc's eyes lit up. "I just had a brilliant idea! Mademoiselle Gaffney, viens ici s'il te plaît."

His heart dropped into his stomach as he heard the teacher say Julie's name. No, no nonono, he prayed silently. Anyone but her.

"Oui, Madame Leclarc." Julie eyed Dean nervously, unconsciously bringing her fingers up to her lips. The teacher switched back to English, obviously to include Dean in the conversation.

"Mademoiselle Gaffney, your teammate is in a bit of a situation with his grades." Dean smiled sheepishly, and it made Julie's mouth dry up. Stop being such a girl, she reprimanded herself. It's just Dean…Portman. It's just Portman.

"He needs a tutor. And given your similar practice schedules, and your competency, I was hoping you could take the job."

Julie gave a strained little laugh. "I don't know if that's the best idea…"

"One more failed quiz, and Orion's going to bench me Cat-lady."

"Are you serious, Dean?" He nodded, ashamed he hadn't asked for help before it got to this point. Julie sighed and tried to calm her nerves. "Well, I can't leave a Duck out in the cold."

"Then it's settled. I'll leave you two to set up study times." Madame Leclarc began writing Dean a hall pass for his next class. Julie turned to head back to her seat, but Dean caught her by the arm.

"I really appreciate it." He looked right in her eyes and she blushed.

"It's no problem Dean." God, she hoped he couldn't feel the goose bumps on her arm right now.

"See you after practice tonight?"

"Yeah, that'll work. I don't have too much homework tonight."

-----------

They didn't really speak at hockey practice. Orion had Julie and Goldberg, still the second string goalie, doing some drills away from the rest of the Ducks, so no one even noticed the tension between the two.

The team did, however, notice how distracted Portman was. And that he didn't make any perverted jokes when Connie's skate got stuck in the side board as she was climbing out of the team's box. Fulton, ever cautious, didn't say a word to his 'brother from another mother' until they got back to their room. Averman, on the other hand, made some remark about a "cat having his tongue" and was promptly sent sprawling. The other Ducks figured that whatever was distracting him couldn't be that bad.

When Orion finally had enough of their antics, he blew his whistle and dismissed the team. He really couldn't blame them for their half-hearted practicing, since they hadn't played a real game in over a month and a half, and the season wouldn't start again until September, but he wasn't about to let them get out of shape either. He reprimanded both Portman and Mendoza for their sub par practice. Unfortunately for Luis, he was still rather scrawny, so he was the only one that caught flack in the locker room.

As soon as they'd put their pads away, the girls kicked the boys out so that they could shower. When Julie literally put her foot to Charlie's ass to push him out the door, Connie noticed she was being a little more forceful than usual. It was when Julie started making sure that no one was coming back in that she cleared her throat.

"Julie! What is with you today?"

Julie sighed, knowing she was in trouble. Connie was her best friend, and even more than that, she loved to ferret out secrets. "Nothing, really. The guys were being extra perverted today, that's all."

Connie raised an eyebrow as she turned on the water in her stall. "Whatever, Portman didn't even say a word at practice when Charlie was giving him all of that 'way to go Banks' ammo."

"Do you seriously think those two are sleeping together?" Julie yelled over the spray of her own shower.

"No. They wouldn't ever..I mean, not in high school anyway. Why? Do you…Oh, nice try Jules. It's the 'let's distract Connie' game now, huh?" Julie made a face and rinsed soap out of her hair. She didn't really expect Connie to have fallen for that, but there was always hope.

"Connie, listen, it's nothing big, I promise. It's not like I lost my virginity or anything."

"Okay, now I have to play the 'read between the lines game'. I know you wouldn't lie to me, so you are still a virgin. But you didn't say 'it's not like I'm getting kicked off the team or something' so this is probably about sex."

Julie groaned as she heard her friend get out of the shower. Why'd she have to say that? "This is not about sex!"

"So you didn't have sex, but you…gave someone a blow job?"

"NO!" Julie grabbed her towel and stormed over to her bag.

"Come on, Julie. If you tell me, I'll stop guessing…"

Connie pulled a tight blue tee-shirt on over her head. "No response. So you…made out with someone?"

Julie blushed and tried to make a noncommittal noise, but Connie was not about to be fooled by that. She knew her friend too well.

"Julie Gaffney, I do declare!" Connie fanned herself with her comb, the very picture of a Minnesotan southern debutant. "You kissed a bo-ay? On tha mouth?"

"Oh shut up!" Julie threw a sock at her friend. "So what if I did anyway, you're always making out with Guy."

Connie tossed the sock back at her. "So, who is it?"

Julie just slumped into her locker half dressed. "Please, please, please don't ask Connie, it's too embarrassing."

"Well, is he ugly?"

"No." Julie gave her friend a pitiful look. "He's really hot."

"Is he a complete nerd?"

"No, the exact opposite."

"Then is he dumb as a brick?"

"No," Julie whimpered. Connie was gonna drag it out of her, like she always did.

"Then what do you have to be embarrassed about?" Connie scooted next to her best friend and gave her a tight hug.

"I don't want to like Dean!" Julie whined, leaning her head on the brunette's shoulder. "He's rude and perverted and a total player who always gets what he wants from girls!"

Connie nodded slowly, trying to think of ways to comfort her friend. "On the upside though, Portman is really really hot."

-----------

Dean had practically jogged back to his dorm room, and as much as Fulton hated any pace above a casual stroll, he stuck determinedly by his friend's side. As soon as they got in the room, Dean began throwing clothes and papers and half eaten sandwiches into his closet and under the beds. Fulton just stared at the frenzy that was Portman in a trance.

"Dude, what the hell is going on?"

He heard the words "cat," "French," and "work" before he gave up trying to figure his friend out. Long ago he'd figured out that people were willing to talk to him as long as he stuck around let them go at their own speed.

"Whatever Portman, I'ma take a shower."

That stopped the taller boy in his tracks. "What? No, you can't shower, I need to shower! Julie said she was going to come by after practice so we could go over my French homework."

"And I can't shower…why?"

"Because I need to. She's going to be here in like, fifteen minutes."

Fulton rolled his eyes and grabbed his towel. "If you were anyone else, I'd tell you to fuck off. I'll go shower at Charlie's."

"I owe you big time."

"Sure, sure," Fulton grumbled on his way out the door.

Dean quickly finished his cleaning and got into the shower. It was just tutoring and she was just Julie. So why was he forcing himself to calm down like this was the third period of a championship game? It was just Julie!

But that was the problem in a nutshell. Julie was someone he'd never even dreamed of being attracted to. She was his friend, his teammate. He didn't really know her; she was a lot closer to Connie and Banks than she was to him. She was a good student, and he wasn't. She came from a good family, he didn't.

Dean rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and leaned against the tile of he shower. He was just going to have to forget the whole thing ever happened. He didn't want to end up like Connie and Guy, fighting all the time during the season and trying to make up for it the rest of the year. Instead, he'd just concentrate on getting his grades up. He'd tell Julie that he'd have Guy tutor him, and that she could…avoid him, or whatever.

Lost in his thoughts, Dean didn't hear the knock at the door. After the second knock, Julie tried the knob. The room was unlocked, so she cautiously let herself in. She heard the shower running and tried not to think about either of the Bash Brothers in there. Fulton was just not her type and Dean…well, he was just too much of her type at the moment. Those kinds of thoughts needed to just keep out of her brain.

"Huh," she mused aloud, "You can actually see the floor in here."

She wandered over to the stereo, thumbing through CDs, mostly heavy metal and classic rock. Leaning over to look some cover art more closely, Julie accidentally hit the 'play' button with her elbow. The music that blasted out of the speakers was so loud that it made her ears hurt as she scrambled for the stop button.

"Goddammit Fult, you better not be messing up my CDs again!" Dean burst out of the bathroom holding a towel around his waist. "I spent fifteen minutes reorganizing…"

Julie whipped around, her drying hair sticking to the lip gloss she'd borrowed from Connie…for the sheer pleasure of wearing lip gloss, and no other reason, if anyone dared to ask.

"Hey," she mumbled, barely able to take her eyes off his chest. Why did he have to be hot?

"Hey." She looked good, even in a baggy tee-shirt. Her lips looked extra kissable today. Without thinking, Dean crossed the few feet between them and brushed the hair out of her face.

God, she couldn't even look him in the eye. What kind of tough hockey playing tomboy was she? Julie put her hands up, intending to push him back, but Dean saw the movement and it broke his reverie.

"I'm sorry, I didn't…"

Julie shook her head. "No big deal. You, uh, organize your CDs?" Anything to keep from touching him.

"Yeah," Dean smiled, feeling a little ridiculous, "They're in alphabetical order."

Grinning, Julie poked him in the chest. "Careful, or you'll end up a neat-freak like me."

"Oh, I could only ever aspire to your level of neatness Kitty Cat. I bet you sleep with a label maker at night," he teased, poking her shoulder in return.

"I do not!" She crossed her arms indignantly. "And even if I did, at least it's far more sanitary than sleeping with leftover pizza!" She poked him again, a little bit harder.

"Whoa, you trying to hurt me Cat Lady? 'Cause you know I'm poke-proof."

A sly grin spread across her face and she raised an eyebrow. "You might be poke-proof Dean Portman, but no one is tickle-proof!" Julie's reflexes were faster than Dean's and she managed to glue her fingers to the vulnerable spot above his hips.

Still holding onto his towel, Dean desperately fought to keep her off of him. He sunk to his knees laughing, and the relentless Julie followed.

"Cry for mercy, Dean, and maybe I'll let you live," Julie gloated, fingers flying.

"Never!" Dean choked out. "A Bash Brother never gives in!" Suddenly he wrapped his free arm around her and dragged them both to the floor. They wrestled for a minute before Julie's maneuverability won out over Dean's strength and size. She pinned his arm using both her hands and locked his legs in hers.

"The Cat has achieved another victory! The crowd goes wild!"

Dean scoffed. "If hadn't been almost naked, you wouldn't have had a chance!"

She gulped then, remembering how close their faces were, and how hard his body was underneath hers. Her mouth went dry and she licked her lips, which Dean found devastatingly sexy.

"Babe," trying to talk to her, he felt like he was twelve again, "if you don't move, I'm going to kiss you again."

Fuck, she thought, liking the strain in his voice, and pressing her lips to his. Now when she pushed her body against his, it was a molding to and not a power struggle. He slid his hand up her shirt and caressed her lower back as she teased the roof of his mouth with her tongue.

He scraped his teeth across her neck and felt her nipples go hard against his chest. It made him groan and kiss her hard. Julie felt like she was drowning, like she was trying to claw her way out of her skin, like all she wanted was to be closer to Dean; it was enough to make her scream with frustration. She was moving unconsciously, grinding her hips into his, dying for a way to scratch the itch inside her.

"Oh god, Julie, you have to stop doing that," Dean pleaded breathless as she ran her hands up and down his washboard stomach.

"Why? I like it." That devious smile of hers was back. She kissed his collarbone, her tongue flicking out every now and then. He couldn't help but moan. Trying to get control of the situation again, Dean rolled them over, barely managing to keep himself looking decent. Julie squirmed underneath him until his lips covered hers, demanding her attention. Her tee-shirt had ridden up and she could feel his skin rubbing against hers, driving her crazy.

Fulton swung the door open, eating a slice of pizza in one hand and drinking from a coke in the other.

"Portman? Oh, shit, sorry." He nearly tripped over the two bodies trying to untangle themselves on the floor. Dean jumped to his feet his face bright red and grabbed his friend's elbow, escorting him to the door.

"Next time dude, hang something on the door," The long haired Bash Brother told his friend. "And, jesus, hurry up, otherwise Julie's gonna be totally pissed about you ditching tutoring." Looking over his shoulder, he called back, "Hey Jules! Didn't see you there…" The lightbulb was almost visible over Fulton's head. "Oooooohhhhhkay…I'll leave you two alone now." He turned to leave and Dean tightened his grip.

"Dude, don't tell anyone I was with Julie, please." Fulton looked into Dean's eyes and read the seriousness in his expression.

"No worries, bro. You can count on me. But you owe me huge now."

"I know, I know, just…out!"

Fulton retreated down the hall, looking like the cat who ate the canary. Shutting the door, Dean turned back to the goalie still in the room. Julie had shifted up onto the bed and was chewing on her lip. Don't tell anyone he was Julie? What was so bad about being with her?

"I'm, going to, uh, get dressed." She nodded at him, once again nervous to be around him. Why did this always happen to her? Why couldn't she just think of him as a teammate?

Dean grabbed a shirt from under the bed and a pair of ragged pants from the closet and went into the bathroom. He locked the door and sighed. Wasn't he supposed to be forgetting about this whole thing? Why was he such a goddamn fuck up? She was his teammate, his goalie. His eyebrows furrowed as he buckled his belt. Not his at all, that was the point, right? Not even his league.

When he opened the door, Julie felt her heart start pounding in her chest. He came and sat next to her, obviously uncomfortable. The silence hung heavily in the dorm room, and it took Dean lightly touching her hand for Julie to even look up at him.

"Listen, babe, I don't know…"

"Dean, please, stop."

Her blue eyes were a lot darker than he'd seen them before. She took a deep breath and squeezed his hand.

"I know I'm not your type. And I still want to be your friend, so I'm just going to leave, and I'll see you at practice. If you want, I can talk to Madame for you, find you a tutor."

Shocked, Dean didn't do anything but shake his head. Julie sighed again and slid off the bed. She gave him a kiss on the forehead and walked out of the room. Gripping the edge of his bed, Dean resisted the urge to run after her screaming, "You're wrong! You're so wrong!" But he didn't. Instead he lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to think of as many words for stupid as he could.

"Maybe if my list was longer, she could actually like me," he muttered.

----------

Julie wandered in the hall completely lost in thought. She didn't want to head back to her room, because Connie would be there, and she would want to know exactly what had happened.

"This sucks so hard," Julie thought aloud.

"What does?" A voice behind her asked.

Turning around, she saw Adam unlocking his door. "Nothing big," she lied.

Adam shrugged. "You want to come in and not talk about it? I've got soda and movies, and it's Friday night."

Julie hesitated a moment.

"I'm serious, you really don't have to talk about it. I was just hoping for some company. I hate spending Fridays alone."

"Where's Charlie?" She asked following him into the room.

"He had to go eat at his mom's tonight. His aunt's in town, I think. Maybe a cousin or something." Adam kicked some clothes under his bed.

Julie plopped down on Charlie's bed and picked up one of the many championship pictures of the Ducks. This one was from their freshman year. They'd become JV champions after their rocky start that year. She looked so young in that picture. They all did. Well, not Dean, really; he'd always looked older than the rest of them. Acted older, too.

How could she have been so stupid? He probably just thought of her as some damn groupie now. Or worse, he thought of her as nothing more than a teammate to have a little fun with. What if it wasn't fun for him? What if he thought she was a bad kisser? She groaned and lay back, hugging the picture to her chest.

"So what do you want to watch?"

Julie looked over at Adam, who was staring at his rather sizable collection.

"Feel good comedy or action-adventure?"

"Whatever you feel like."

"Help a guy out here. Comedy or action?"

"Comedy, I guess."

Adam plucked 'Mall Rats' from the shelf and popped it into the VCR. He tossed Julie a Dr. Pepper, which she snagged out of the air effortlessly, just what he'd expect from Julie the Cat. But he could still see the distraction in her eyes, but he'd already promised not to pry. Focusing on the TV, he fast forwarded through the previews, and settled into his pillows, ready for a long, silent night.

"Adam?" Julie piped up over the opening credits. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

He glanced at his friend laying on the bed across from him. "You're a very pretty hockey player, Julie."

"Oh." So everyone saw her as some big butch hockey player. Yeah, she was taller than average, and yeah, she was muscular, but it wasn't like she looked like a boy! Or maybe she really did, and Adam was trying not to hurt her feelings.

Adam sighed. "What I mean, Jules, is that you're not pretty like the cheerleaders are. You don't wear make up, you don't dye your hair, do your nails or dress like a slut. But you're pretty, a natural pretty, like you know who you are and don't need to cover it up."

"Really?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die."

"You like me, right Adam?"

"I would say that, what with us being friends and all." He laughed. This conversation was getting over his head.

"Well, I mean, if you like me, and you think I'm pretty, why haven't you asked me out?"

Adam was silent for awhile, taken completely off guard. He wasn't ready to tell her the truth. He wasn't ready to tell any of the Ducks.

"Do you really want to go out with me?"

The tables had turned. "No, I mean, not really. I'm just confused," she said softly. "I feel like…like no one gets me, gets the whole 'girl hockey player' thing. I haven't had a boyfriend since Scooter because they all think I'm a lesbian or something."

"Jules, you're smart, pretty, and can easily take on a guy twice your size. Most guys find that pretty intimidating. Plus," and Adam's face fell, remembering, "from what I heard, Scooter slammed you pretty hard as the 'bitch who wouldn't put out'."

Julie snorted in disbelief. "Maybe if he was a better kisser, he would've had a shot. A very, very miniscule one."

"There's the Cat I know." He smiled at her and finally got one in return. "Seriously Julie, if some asshole doesn't like you because you play hockey, he's not good enough to date a Duck."

Yeah, but what if he is one, she thought silently.

A couple hours later, Fulton found his best friend laying on his bed, staring upwards. He looked up as well, trying to figure out what was so interesting.

"Portman, are you high?"

"No," he grunted. "Just moronic."

Fulton raised an eyebrow. "Okay…moronic?"

"Idiotic, imbecilic, immature, juvenile, you know, stupid."

"Right…so I guess 'tutoring' didn't go well?"

"You could say that." Dean pushed himself up so that he could see what Fulton was doing. "She ran out of here right after you left."

Fulton grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels. "I thought you two were gonna go at it until curfew."

"She thinks I don't like her," his friend sighed.

Canned laughter filled the silence of the room as Fulton settled on 'Home Improvement.'

"You're a player, Portman. Most girls find out the hard way that you don't really like them."

"But she's Julie!"

"So you do like her?"

Dean shifted uncomfortably. "No. Yes. I don't know. When I see her, I just want to kiss her."

"So you don't like-like her?"

"No. Yes. I don't know. She's always so calm, in control. She so smart, so graceful, so completely…" he sighed again, heavier, "out of my league."

Fulton shrugged. "Shouldn't she be the one to decide that?" He changed channels again.

"She already did." Portman flopped back onto his bed.

"Portman, stop being such a girl."

"What!"

A pillow from across the room smacked him soundly in the head.

"No, dumbass, she sad that you didn't like her, not that she didn't like you."

Portman shot to his feet like someone had just insulted his mother. "You're right."

"I know."

"I'm a complete idiot."

"I know."

Fulton ducked as his pillow came straight for his head. It hit the wall with a resounding thunk, but by the time Fulton was ready to retaliate, Dean was already out the door.

Heart pounding, Dean took off for the Lady Ducks' room, but before he'd gone even ten feet, he saw Julie and Banks in the doorway of the blond boy's room. Stopping in his tracks, Dean watched them hug and Julie give Banks a kiss on the cheek before heading towards the girls' wing of the building.

Turning to go back into his room, Adam caught a glimpse of the tall enforcer standing in the hallway. He gave him a wave, but when he saw the darkness in Dean's eyes, he stopped, afraid of his friend for the first time. Portman shrugged and Adam saw that his friend wasn't mad, but that his eyes reflected a pain Adam'd never seen there before.

"Portman?"

Dean just shook his head and went back to his room.

"I'm done," he announced over the hushed dialogue of NYPD Blue.

"You're back quick."

"She's with Adam."

"Since when?"

Portman glared at his best friend. "I don't know. I just saw them together."

"Together or to-ge-ther?"

"Together! She kissed him."

"She kissed you, too, not too long ago." Fulton rolled his eyes.

"Look, just drop it." It was back to ceiling staring for Dean. "I know when I'm not good enough."


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3 – I Would Burn This City Down

(Just to Show You the Light)

Julie made it back to her room in some what of a better mood. Talking with Adam had helped her feel more like she could be both a girl and a hockey player. She was so tired of being pigeon holed as one or the other.

"I should be more like Connie," she told herself staring in the bathroom mirror. People never questioned Connie's gender or sexuality. Connie wore make up. Connie wore tight clothes. Connie had a boyfriend.

Yanking on her hair elastic, she let the blonde mass cascade down her back. She usually kept it a few inches below her shoulders, but last Fall she'd wanted to see how long it could grow.

"I need a make over," she stated with a firm nod.

"I agree." Connie's head popped around the bathroom door. "You never wear any cute clothes! Those tee-shirts make you look, well, fat."

"I really look fat?" Julie poked at her stomach. It didn't feel fat.

"Don't be silly, you're not fat. Let me demonstrate." Connie stepped behind her. "I would consider what you've got on now typical Cat Lady attire. Agreed?"

Julie nodded, lost.

"Look at yourself in the mirror. Your waist looks at least six inches bigger." Connie gathered the excess fabric in a knot at the small of her back, pulling it tight across her stomach. "And then, voila! Julie has a tiny waist, to everyone's surprise!"

"I don't know, Cons, it's just so…not me."

"Suit yourself. You know I love you just the way you are." Connie shrugged and left to get ready for bed. The tall blonde followed her and began rummaging in her dresser for a pair of boxers. Suddenly, she was fed up with being dull, conservative, tomboy Julie.

"Do you think a makeover would help me get a boyfriend?"

"Don't you mean, land you Dean Portman?" Connie teased.

"He doesn't like me. He was so embarrassed when Fulton saw us together."

"Really? I thought Portman never got embarrassed. Remember that one time a kid from Blake called him gay and Portman just ripped off his helmet, skated over to the Blake bench and kissed him?" Connie giggled. " 'I've had better.' So classic."

"Uhhhhggggggghhhhhh. Can we not talk about Dean?" Julie made a face.

"Okay, Jules, okay. So, you want a boyfriend?"

"Yeah," she looked at the plaid boxers in her hand, "I want to feel like a girl again."

Connie smiled at her friend and gave her a hug. "Well, you know what they say."

"What do they say?"

"Sometimes, you just have to 'ho' it up."

"Oh whatever!" Connie never failed to make Julie smile when she was down. Lady Ducks had to stick together.

----------

"Portman, you're coming out tonight, right?" Charlie called checking in on the sometimes anti-social Bash Brothers.

"Dude, that club is not my scene."

"It's Guy's DJ debut. Ducks fly together, right?"

Fulton punched Dean when he mimicked Charlie's favorite catch phrase.

"Fine, I'll be there." He rolled his eyes and quacked at the captain out of the room. "Fulton, tell me why we have to go to this club again?"

His friend grabbed a towel off the floor and rubbed briskly at his drying hair. "Because Averman told Charlie that Connie told him this was important to Guy, and Guy doesn't get paid unless the club is full of people."

"But one Bash Brother is not going to make a difference. You know I hate that dance shit."

"Hey now," his friend pointed accusatorily at him, "you're the one who said 'where the Bash Brothers go, the babes follow'."

Dean grunted, not wanting to admit Fulton was right.

"Besides, it is an old mother Reed cure to get over a hottie."

"What is? Having your ears bleed?"

"No, dillweed. Find another hottie!"

If anything, that put Dean in a worse mood. After a while, Fulton gave up trying to have a conversation and went off to find someone actually sociable.

----------

"I look like a slut!"

"No, Julie, you look hot."

They'd gone shopping that afternoon. Connie was sure that if Julie found some tiny outfit for Guy's club thing, she could find some boyfriend in no time.

The blue dress had a plunging V-neck, but that's not what worried Julie the most.

"How am I supposed to bend over!"

Connie sighed. "You don't. Julie, mini. Mini, Julie. Now that we're all acquainted, can we go?"

Julie had loved the dress in the store. She'd loved it when she'd tried it on. She'd even loved it as it sat, folded neatly, in the bag. But now that she was about to be seen wearing it by real people, and her good friends at that, her nerves were getting the best of her.

The knocking at the door became more insistent. Tired of waiting, Connie threw open the door, and Charlie, Averman, Ken and Luis tumbled into the girls' room.

"Looking good, Cons," Luis winked at the pretty brunette.

Stopping in his tracks, Averman let out a low whistle. "Check out the Cat Lady."

Luis' eyes went wide and even Charlie nodded in appreciation.

"You…you…you look nice." Ken stuttered.

"Oh, shut up guys." Julie blushed furiously. "Can we just go?"

"Finally! Yes!" Connie stamped her foot impatiently.

After what seemed like an age, the mob made their way out of the dorms, Julie teetering a bit as she got used to her new heels.

They found the club surprisingly full, but luckily Guy'd gotten a hold of some VIP badges for the Ducks. Inside, it was everything Julie expected, dark, colorful, smelling like smoke and beer. It was an eighteen and over party, but half of Eden Hall had turned up, and half of those kids had fake IDs. None of the Ducks were willing to risk hockey, though, so most of them didn't drink, at least, Julie remembered with a grin, not while they were in public. But Charlie had gotten pretty tanked at that party last year. He'd almost kissed Adam!

Someone pushed her from behind and she tripped over the feet of the very Duck she'd just been thinking about.

"Steady, Cat." Adam smiled at his friend. "Showing some leg tonight, eh?"

"God, would you all just lay off?" Julie turned to go, but Adam grabbed her arm.

"You look really good tonight, Jules. It's not a joke."

"I don't look like me." She plucked at some of the stretchy fabric gathered at her stomach.

"You mean you look like a girl." He could tell how uncomfortable she was.

"Yeah," she chewed on her lip a bit, "I think I saw Averman staring at my boobs."

"Would you expect anything less from Averman?" He asked, laughing and watching the redhead struggle to dance with Connie.

"No, but…"

Adam turned his attention back to the blonde girl next to him. In her heels, she was almost as tall as some of the guys on the team. "But you don't want them to forget you're their goalie?"

Julie sighed, relieved. "Exactly. At least you get it."

"I know how you feel." She stared at her friend, who's eyes had gone distant. It made her feel selfish that she was always complaining about her stupid problems.

"You know you can talk to me about it."

Adam snapped out of his reverie. "Maybe later." He smiled at her, but she could see it was forced. "Let's have some fun. Would my lady care for a dance?"

A weight lifted from her shoulders as Julie realized that the Ducks would always be her friends, girl, tomboy, goalie or babe. Taking Adam's outstretched hand, she curtsied clumsily.

"I would be honored."

The two joined their friends already on the dance floor. Connie had made her way up to the DJ booth to give Guy their support, or as Averman put it, some sex appeal. Dean and Fulton arrived late. Neither one of them were all that interested in the music or the socializing. Fulton even got a bit claustrophobic in big crowds. He went over to say hi to their teammates, but Dean retreated to the corner where the non-dancing Ducks sat. A few moments later, Fulton joined him, sweating a bit. Dwayne, Goldberg and Ken welcomed them looking rather dejected.

"What a sorry looking group of losers."

"Shut up, Dean," Goldberg muttered. "You're sitting here too."

"Trust me, you don't want to see him dance," Fulton sniggered as Dean shot him a dirty look.

"Well, he can't be any worse than Averman. I think he's going to break something," Ken interjected, pointing at the flailing limbs of their second string center.

"I would dance," Dwayne's drawl could barely be heard over the thumping bass, "but he's only playin' this techno stuff. No good music."

The rest of the table nodded in agreement.

Empowered, Dwayne continued, "I mean, would it kill him to play a little Garth Brooks?"

The other guys started ripping on Dwayne's own taste, but Dean's attention was pulled away when he saw Julie. She was wearing something tight, something short, something that highlighted her long legs, and, oh god, her ass. Dean closed his eyes, but regretted opening them when he saw that she was dancing with a tall, blond…Adam. She was dancing with Adam. But he knew that already. She was with Adam, should be with Adam, it just made sense.

But it still sucked to see.

"I'm gonna go smoke," he said turning to Fulton and scooting out of the booth.

"You're going to ruin your lungs young man!" Goldberg called after him, a perfect imitation of Mother Goldie. Dean just flipped him off and pulled out his camels.

It was a cool sixty degrees outside on the small balcony of the club. There were a couple of smokers outside, but they were in their own little group, chattering away. Dean leaned against the iron railing and looked out at the Minneapolis skyline.

Smoking soothed him. It wasn't so much the taste, or the smell, or even the nicotine. Hell, he quit every season without fail. It was the small act of defiance against the man, and Dean always felt he had to be rebelling against something. Never before had he suppressed his instincts. It was an odd feeling, wanting to punch Adam's face in, but not allowing himself to do it. So instead, he smoked.

"I should have bought more cigarettes," he breathed.

"You keep smoking, and you're going to lose your stamina."

Dean spun, startled. "I didn't hear you come out."

Julie smiled, not looking directly at him. "I needed some fresh air. It's pretty hot in there." She went over to the rail, and stared at the same skyline Dean had been. "You should've said hi."

He shrugged. "You and Adam looked like you were having such a good time, I didn't want to interrupt."

"We were." Julie stretched over the railing, trying to grab a leaf from a near by tree. Her heel snapped and she balanced precariously on the edge of the rail before Dean snatched her by the waist and pulled her to him. She could smell the leather of his trademark jacket and the cigarette smoke that clung to it.

"Careful, Kitten, I can't let you get hurt. Your new boy toy would get pretty upset with me."

"Boy toy?" Julie pushed Dean away, taken aback. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You and Adam. You were all smoochy in the hallway last night." He couldn't look at her, it hurt too bad.

"Smoochy? In the hallway?" She furrowed her brow, wondering what the hell he meant. "We watched a movie in his room…I think I gave him a kiss on the cheek?"

He nodded. "And you were dancing with him. Like, really dan-cing."

"We're at a club. I'm dancing with a friend. A friend. I couldn't get a boyfriend if I tried." Julie snorted. "Look at me. I look ridiculous in this. I can't believe I let Connie talk me into buying this damn dress."

His jaw dropped. The cigarette he'd been smoking fell from his lips on to his shirt and he jumped, batting it out.

She looked at him funny. "You okay?"

He nodded, still gaping at her. He wanted to say something, had to say something. "Julie, you're…you're like…cold shower hot."

"Run that by me again?" Julie shivered, rubbing her arms. The wind had picked up and she was starting to get cold.

"You make me take cold showers. And sound dumb. And clean. And stuff," he mumbled, staring off in the distance.

Julie shivered again, eyebrows furrowed. What did that mean? She was just being optimistic again. Teammates, remember? Something brushed her shoulders and she started, almost knocking her forehead into Dean's chin. His leather jacket was draped over her, still warm from Dean's body heat.

"What are you doing Dean?" Julie snapped. "I mean, why are you doing this to me?" Her mouth was pressed in a hard line, but her eyes were a storm of blue and grey, tears threatening.

There was nothing left for him to do but laugh. He pulled her into his arms, still chuckling. She looked up at him, eyes wide with confusion, tears winning the battle with her will. Staring down at the beautiful girl, Dean cupped her chin and kissed her softly.

"It'll never be good enough for you, will it?"

He let her go, and stalked through the door, leaving her standing on the balcony alone and breathless. The crowd was still thick inside the club, and Dean pushed his way through it to the table where his friends were. Tapping Fulton on the shoulder, he pointed his thumb at the door and took off.

"Portman, wait!" Fulton called, trying to catch up with him, but the taller Bash Brother had already disappeared.

----------

When a storm rolled over the twin cities area later that night, Julie thought it was a fitting end to a frustrating evening. She and Connie had used Dean's jacket to shelter themselves while running back to the dorms from Adam's car. Neither of her friends had said anything about it, and when they had found her crying on the balcony, Connie had just given her a tissue and asked if she wanted to go home.

Julie had peeled off her damp, tight dress and crawled under her covers. She loved her comforter. It was her favorite shade of purple, and stuffed full of goose down, and it could keep all the bad things away. Tonight though, wet, cold, and miserable, Julie knew her comforter wouldn't be enough to quiet her mind.

Dean's jacket hung on the back of her chair, taunting her. It made her remember how warm he was, how good it felt when he kissed her. Why did he kiss her like that? Not good enough. What the hell did he mean by that? No, it wasn't good enough for her to just be a fling, not when she liked him this much. Not when she'd be putting her team on the line, her school work on the line…her heart on the line.

Connie had snuck into the boys wing, hoping to 'celebrate' Guy's big night. The room was quiet, Julie stuck listening to the sound of her own breathing. Like she needed anymore stress in her life. She had to apply to college, do….things. Like…exercise. And…graduate…and…

All she could think about was how much she wanted to kiss him again. It was like she couldn't stop. Sliding out of bed, she picked up the leather jacket and hugged it. She slipped it on, trying to breathe in as much of his scent as possible. It made her feel warm inside for the first time since they'd left the club. Sighing, Julie tried her comforter again, and this time, the magic was there. Within minutes, the blonde goalie was fast asleep, still wearing the jacket.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4 – Knock Me Right Off My Feet

Maybe if he didn't make it into the NHL, he could try out for the professional ceiling starers league. He was getting quite good at it.

What the fuck was her deal? Seriously. He paid the girl a compliment. Told her she looked hot. Did something nice for her, gave her his jacket. Saved her life for crissakes! And she just yells at him.

Her voice played over and over in his head. "What are you doing?" It kept getting meaner, every time he heard it. "What do you think you're doing, Dean?" "What the fuck are you doing, Dean?" "I don't want anything to do with you, Dean."

He wanted to scream that she could fuck off, that she could take her attitude and shove it, that he didn't give a shit what she thought about him, that there were a million girls just like her begging to date him.

But he knew it wasn't true, and that made him even angrier. He cared. A lot. Not just about what she thought of him, but about what she thought of his cd collection, of hockey, of what she wore…

He cared a lot about her. And there weren't a million girls like her. There weren't any girls like her. She was always so calm, so put together, except when he was kissing her, and then she was forceful and passionate. If he kept thinking about her like that, he'd be showering every hour.

Dean groaned and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. It'd all go away if he was patient enough. Time heals all things, his mom had always told him. He'd get over Julie, find a girl who didn't think he wasn't good enough. And it wasn't like Julie was wrong, she was too good for him. He couldn't even aspire to her level.

She was a better student.

She was from a better family.

She was better looking.

She was a better hockey player.

Nothing he could do would ever change that.

----------

Sunday dawned for the Ducks and it was back to the homework and studying. The end of April had meant the beginning of final exams and projects, and a week into May, most of the Ducks were already stressing about their grades. Especially Dean.

He'd had his French textbook glued to his hands since breakfast, and even all through dinner. Fulton could barely get a word out of his best friend. Not that Dean particularly wanted to talk to Fulton after what had happened last night. Running out of a crowded club full of hotties was just a tad unusual for "the Port-man."

"Raaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhhuuuuhhhh." Dean dropped his head on to his book, in complete defeat. There was no way he was going to be able to pass this quiz. And then he'd get benched, and then he'd be out of practice, and then he'd never get into the NHL or a college scholarship! Why did he have to kiss Julie! Maybe if she'd actually tutored him, he wouldn't have to work at McDonald's for the rest of his life.

The shaggy haired Bash Brother looked over at his roommate. "You okay dude?"

"I'm going to fail," Dean whined, sounding about half his age. Fulton just rolled his eyes. For someone who prided himself on his masculinity, Portman could be a total drama queen.

"Didn't your teacher get you a tutor?"

"Yes, but Julie hates me." His voice was turning into a bit of a whimper.

"What about Guy? He's half Canadian, right? Doesn't his dad speak French?"

Dean straightened up like he'd been poked with a cattle prod. "You're a genius, bro!" He grabbed his books and dashed out of the room, searching for his fair-haired Quebecois friend.

Knocking on Guy and Russ's door, Dean felt better for the first time in a week. He could pass French. He could be okay with Julie dating Adam..or whoever. This could all work out. Things were definitely looking up.

That's when Connie opened the door.

And promptly slammed it in his face.

"Who is it?" Dean heard Guy's voice and some shuffling steps. "Hey Dean." Guy ran a hand through his ruffled blond hair.

"Hey. Is now a bad time?"

"Um, no." Connie stood behind her boyfriend, glaring out the open door. He stepped aside and let Dean in. "So," Guy asked cautiously, "what's up?"

"I was hoping you could help me with my French."

"I didn't know you swung that way," Connie snapped. "I mean, seriously, how often does that line work for you?"

"What the hell Cons?" Guy turned to the petite brunette, thoroughly confused by her hostility. "What do you have against Portman?"

"I'm just trying to protect my boyfriend from this…predator." She sniffed, chin high.

"Predator?" Dean asked, taken aback. "I know I'm big..but.."

Connie just narrowed her eyes. "You know what I'm talking about. I don't like it when someone tries to play my friends."

"Play…" She had to be talking about Julie. She thought he was the one jerking Julie around. For the first time since he was thirteen, Dean was starting to get seriously pissed off. He'd learned to control his anger. Take it out in sports, exercise…but now…

"You know what Connie, you can fuck off! Julie's the one with a stick up her ass! Can't date the poor guy! Can't date the stupid guy! So why don't you ask her why she keeps blue balling me before jumping down my throat!"

Guy was cowering by his bed. Connie just looked at him in shock.

"Whatever," Dean shook his head. "I'm out of here. Guy, seriously, I need help. If you can get away from the ball and chain for awhile, that is." He resisted the urge to slam the door to punctuate his leaving.

----------

"Jules, you're gonna hate me."

That was never a good opening line. Julie turned in her chair as Connie entered the room. She wasn't getting much done on her Pre-Calculus anyway.

"I'm not going to hate you." She pulled her chair over to the bed where Connie had plopped. "So, what did you do?"

"You are going to hate me."

"I am not. Tell me."

"I kinda yelled at Dean." Connie plucked at her blanket. "He yelled back at me, too."

"What!" Julie jumped out of her chair, furious. "Why the hell would you do that Connie?"

"You just seemed so upset yesterday, I was mad at him."

"Connieeeeeeeee…"

"I'm sorry, Jules." She got up and pulled her best friend into a bear hug. "I let my temper get the best of me."

Hugging Connie back, Julie could feel the tears rise again.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry girl. I do have some good news." Connie smiled gently at the sniffling blonde.

Julie laughed softly, wiping at her eyes. "Oh, yeah? Did Dawson's Creek get cancelled?"

"No, silly, that show's gonna be on forever. Dean said something interesting when he was yelling at me."

"Yeah?" Julie perked up, still sniffling a little. "What?"

"That you were the one with a stick up your ass."

"What! That's so insulting! What an asshole!" Julie picked up Dean's jacket and started to throw it on the floor, but Connie stopped her.

"No, no, listen carefully. He said that you were the one who didn't want to date the poor guy, the stupid guy. You didn't want him. Not the other way around."

"Oh." The pretty goalie tightened her grip on the old leather jacket. "What?"

"Oh, whatever! You're the smartest person I know! It's not hard to put together. Dean likes you, he just thinks you don't like him."

Julie's eyes went so wide that Connie was a little afraid that one might pop out. "He can't actually like me."

"Can't? Julie, he does!"

"But he's Dean! He's hot, and he likes hockey, and he's a total player, and he'd never like me."

"Aw, sweetie, now you're just in denial."

"I am not!"

"Yeah, you are. You're making excuses. You're a beautiful person, anyone can see that, even someone as thick skulled as Dean." Connie gave her another hug.

Julie brought the jacket to her face, her eyes troubled. "You really think he likes me?"

"Have I ever steered you wrong before?"

"Oh, Cons, do not even pull that. Must I mention 'perm-at-home'?"

"Hey, those curls were sexy."

"Curls? You couldn't even call those kinks! More like frizz-at-home!"

"You are just negative!"

"I am not! I just care, deeply, about my hair."

They laughed for a minute, but as it died out, Connie got serious again. "You should go talk to him. Honestly talk to him. It's easy to think you know what someone's going to say. Trust me, I'm good at that."

Tilting her head, Julie realized that Connie was right. "Where are you hiding my best friend. My best friend is not that mature!"

Connie smiled. "I've been in the same relationship since I was nine. I should hope that I've learned a thing or two! Now, shoo, go talk to Dean. You're not going to get any studying done until you do." She opened the door and smacked the Cat Lady on the butt. "Out!"

"I'm going! I'm going!" The door to the girls' room shut behind her, and Julie felt the butterflies return to her stomach.

----------

It was a timid knock, so soft that Dean almost didn't hear it. Stretching lazily, he dropped his French book onto his bed and answered his door. No one was there. Peering into the hallway his heart dropped into his stomach.

"Julie?"

She turned around, caught fleeing from the scene.

"Um, I thought you weren't…there."

"Sorry..I didn't hear at first."

It was an awkward silence. Finally, Julie remembered what she was holding.

"I, uh, wanted to give this back to you." She couldn't look at him, it was too embarrassing.

"Thanks." He ran his fingers through his hair, making his tee-shirt ride up.

God, she thought, how is it possible for a man to have sexy hips?

"Hey, Jules?"

"Yeah?" Focus, focus…focus was necessary.

"Can you tell Connie I'm sorry? I kinda went off on her earlier."

This was her opening. Remember Cat-Lady, her inner dialogue continued, focus!

"About that…" Dean's face fell even further. She hated him now. He'd totally fucked it up forever and ever now. "Can I come in?"

Taken aback, Dean just nodded. As she walked by him, he noticed she was wearing a tighter shirt than he was used to. It looked good. Really good. He mentally groaned. Getting over this…bout of lust…was not going to be easy.

She kept her eyes firmly on the carpet. "I heard you thought I had a stick up my ass."

"Yeah, um, what I meant was.."

"Dean." She smiled at him nervously. "You were right.

"Uh..run that by me again?"

"I did have a stick up my ass, I guess. I…uh…well, I like you, but I couldn't believe that anyone would like me."

His eyes took up about half of his face, he was so amazed. "But you're Julie, the hottest Cat Lady since Michelle Pfeiffer. I mean…god, you're…untouchable."

The tears started welling up again, and Julie blinked hard. "Um, well, I'm just going to go then…"

"Julie, stop!" Dean pulled her into a tight hug. "In a good way! Untouchable in a good way!"

Blinking, Julie buried her face in his chest. "See! I'm always thinking the worst!"

It made Dean grin when her nose rubbed across his chest. What the hell was a girl like this doing in his arms? The thought quickly sobered him.

"What about your family?"

"What about my family?" Her forehead bumped against his chin.

"Won't they be disappointed in you?"

"Disappointed? For liking you?" Finally, Julie was able to look him in the eye. "Dean, my family already knows you. We've been friends since I was thirteen."

He blushed for the first time in over two years. She was right. "I just thought, since you guys are rich and all…"

Julie broke into a huge smile. "Was that all? You don't think I'm a lesbian. Or that it's weird I play hockey?"

"What?" Never one good at hiding his astonishment, he definitely gave away his astonishment. "It's hot that you play hockey! And..well, if you were a lesbian, that'd be kinda hot too, but you're not, right?"

"No." She laughed a little. "I most definitely like guys."

He squeezed her a little tighter. "I'm sorry Kitten, I've been an asshole. I thought you were gonna be just like all the other girls in this school. Just in it for my pretty face, yanno?"

With that one little joke, the tension in Julie's body eased a little bit. "Who says I'm not?"

A smiled peeked out of the corner of his mouth. "Well, I thought you would at least be in it for my hot bod, too."

Her hand slid up his chest, playing with the cotton of his tee-shirt. "Oh, trust me, I hadn't forgotten." The flirting felt good, natural. She liked Dean, and that was okay. And…he leaned down to kiss her and she stopped him with a finger on his lips.

"Just to make absolutely sure, if I kiss you now, you're going to ask me out afterwards, right?"

"Do you want to go get a bite or something later?" He nibbled on her ring finger while she pretended to think about it. "Well…?"

"Don't be silly, Dean, do you really think we'll get out of here while restaurants are still open?"

He didn't even bother to answer. He just kissed her.


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

"All That I Could Say Was…(Mmm, mmm, yeah, yeah)"

Dean pulled off his sweat soaked black tee-shirt and hung it over the fence, then skated back into the alley where his brothers were waiting. His hair hung in his eyes and perspiration dripped down his face. Summer in Chicago was goddamn hot, but he wasn't going to quit, not while he and Jake were only one goal behind.

His oldest brother Danny rolled up for the face off, placing the bright yellow ball between their sticks. They clacked once, twice, three times and the four brothers began the battle for domination again, eldest two versus the two babies. The game ended with Dean and Jake squeaking out a victory, but only because Dean nearly amputated Charlie's leg while the twenty year old was defending their trash can.

Winded and uncomfortably damp, the brothers lounged on their front porch, soaking up the shade and what little breeze the windy city had to offer. They passed the time doing what the brothers did best other than hockey, bullshitting.

"So she's like moaning under me and I'm about ready to blow, and then my fuckin' roommate comes busting into the room, drunk, and starts pissing at the foot of my bed," Danny bitched, taking a drag of his cigarette. "Hottest brunette I ever seen, and the dumbass fucks it up. Still got her number though."

They laughed, and it was Jake's turn to one up his brother. At only 15, he was eager to catch up with his brothers' experience, and even though they all knew it was all lies, they all humored him.

"Yeah, well, I'm dating this redhead. She's got a pretty bad temper, but it makes her more fun in the bedroom, if you know what I mean."

Charlie and Danny just rolled their eyes at each other and Dean snickered.

"I've got this girl out at BC whose legs just don't quit. Wrap around you twice." Charlie leaned in as if he was divulging a state secret. "And she's into girls."

Danny whistled. "Nice. Dean, you're awfully quiet. Not gettin' any pussy up there at that preppy school?"

Flicking his cigarette butt away, Dean gave his brothers a smug smile. "I am dating this pretty blonde."

Jake was the first to jump on his case. "Everyone's dated a pretty blonde. Except maybe Charlie. And to think I used to respect you."

"Someone's losing the Portman mojo," Charlie added.

"A pretty blonde who can stop a ninety-five mile per hour slap shot."

The brothers fell into silence, and Dean sparked up another Camel, thoroughly satisfied.

_Author's Notes:_

Thanks to everyone who stuck with this story, as short as it is. I really appreciate all your reviews, and even though it took me forever and a day to reach a conclusion with this guy, I hope it satisfies as much as one of Dean's cigarettes (it's a terrible habit! Don't smoke!).

I don't know when I'll write another MD fanfic, as right now I don't have any plot bunnies for one, but if you're a Life With Derek fan, I do have a fic up called "Same Old Song and Dance" that I'd appreciate you checking out.

Thanks again!

Caro


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